Friday, July 19, 2013

The Craziest Path So Far!

It is June 19, 2013. I won't be posting this for a while because I am not quite ready for the world to know that I am currently 8 weeks 6 days and 20 some hours pregnant. (Ok, I don't know how many hours but it sounded cool).

On the morning of May 18th I was getting ready for my graduation from Loyola with my Masters. I was grumpy, my tatas were sore and I was totally sure that I was going to start my period the moment I needed to walk across the stage. The only thing keeping me from pretending some kind of illness was that my family was coming and we were all going out to celebrate (with many bud lights) that evening. When I got out of the shower, I opened the cabinet to get my lotion and there were some ovulation tests that never got opened and a pregnancy test staring at me. I thought for a minute. I am 3 days late, but that's not so out of the norm. Now it was stuck in my head though, what if? I was annoyed that I let my questioning mind get the best of me, but peeing on stick commenced.

A few minutes later Nick's finger tips are tapping at the slightly ajar bathroom door. "What's the grad doing in there?" Well, "I am looking at a pregnancy test." Door flings open. I am wondering: Is he pale or is this just the lighting in the bathroom? I can't stop staring at the stick, wait two minutes my ass, those lines show up instantaneously. "Nick! We are pregnant!" He replies, "Let me see that thing." I hold it up for him because I have a kung fu grip on it and am not ready to let it leave my hands. He says, "Tiffin, you are reading it up side down for one thing." My response, "Nick....It's still a plus sign."

I did not miss partaking in those bud lights after graduation. I was on a serious, "I'm going to be a Mom high." That didn't last.

After about a week, I started with the puking. I puke every day multiple times a day. The only glow that is coming from my face are my newly added pimples. My skin is dry and so is my hair. I want to eat anything in the world besides saltines, but can't stomach it. My restless leg syndrome is so bad that I have scheduled acupuncture for this coming up Friday. Everything I once loved makes me puke: Coffee, chicken, vegetables, mouthwash, and my own husband (Ok, ok, Nick doesn't make me puke but there are some certain bodily functions that do!!).

I am sure that once I give birth to this precious miracle (which feels like an alien reeking havoc on my body right now) I will forget every bit of misery this first trimester has thrown my way, but until them I am going to commiserate!!

Last week we had our first appointment and saw little bean for the first time. It was such a beautiful thing. We were thrown a bit of sad curveball when the doctor told us that this started out as a twin pregnancy, but Baby B did not grow as fast and did not produce a heartbeat like Baby A. I was taken aback at how sad I could be about something I didn't even know was there, but we definitely grieved little B. On the brightest of notes though, we have a little bean in there that is growing and heart-beating, and thriving just like he/she should. I am reminded of this on a daily basis when I hug the potty.

Nick and I are both scared to death! 7 months are going to FLY by. I become so emotional when I think about bringing a tiny little human into this world that I AM RESPONSIBLE FOR! It makes me cry tears of joy and then just like clockwork, tears of sadness for my Mom come right after that. I can't believe our baby won't know his/her GiGi. I pray that all the love and tools momma gave to me will help me raise a sweet, respectful, faithful little darling. Thank God for my sister, both of our families, and ALL of our amazing friends that are going to help along the way.

Stay tuned for more prego blogs! I plan to be really honest, because this is not all flowers and sunshine!!

June 27, 2013:
I am 10 weeks today. I am still puking. I have no energy and I don't feel like myself. Acupuncture didn't help my restless leg (at least so far) and I am afraid Nick wants a "do over" on his wife choice. I am sure I look my sexiest with my compression stockings pulled up to my thighs, granny panties, oversized t-sthirt and my legs propped up on the wall at the head of the bed, moaning in discomfort. My diet consists of carrots and ranch, olives, red meat, and Oreos, lots of Oreos. I miss Bud Light and I hope we are still friends when I come out of these 9 months. 3 weeks until this trimester is over...I hope there is a pot of gold waiting for me at the beginning of tri-2.

Debbie Downer signing off.

July 19, 2013

Thirteen weeks and 1 day (sober) LOLOLOL. I throw up every morning, but my energy levels are better. I am sleeping more at night because my restless leg is getting better by the day.  Yesterday I exercised, but was rewarded with 45 minutes of vomiting up everything I had eaten for the past 2 days! Does baby not like exercise or not like exercise after drinking a protein smoothie?? hmmm. I think I will give up the exercise for a day just in case. ;)

Last week we got to see the jumping bean!! That little one was waving, sticking it's tongue out, and so wiggly! I couldn't help but get teary when that tiny little hand was swaying back and forth saying, "hi mom, hi dad." Nick's smile and shining eyes were precious.

I need to get cracking on moving my "dressing room" to the loft in preparation of a nursery. Poor Nick's office is about to get a lot smaller and have a lot of jewelry and scarves as additions. I will miss that room, but the time for being selfish is coming very close to an end. Every time I think I am going to get started the couch calls out, "Tiffin, I'm lonely, please come back and fill in your spot!" That damn couch is so convincing! Maybe tomorrow....