Dan always had ideas. "Let's go hike, let's take a road trip, I want to brew beer, I think I'll buy a new car today, and my favorite (insert eye-roll) let's go buy a pair of mountain bikes..." He knew that I had a bad bike accident as a kid and had never gotten on the bike again. He also knew that I'd do just about anything to spend time with him, so he played into that. We bought matching bikes, his in dark green and mine a shiny blue. We bought Camelbacks, and too many other completely unnecessary accessories to name. I had my helmet, these dumb ass biking sunglasses, my camelback (which matched by bike...what a dweeb!!), the seat cushion for my then skinny behind, and we were hitting the dusty trail!! I was so happy! I was back on a bike and riding down the trails towards Lake Elkhorn in Savage. I was glancing to my left, my right, the breeze was to my back, and I was as proud as a peacock. Ahead was a bridge and Dan was stopped, off his bike, and his face was not pleasant. I was worried that a chain came off his bike or that something had gone wrong, so I got off my bike too and said, "What's going on?" He looked at me with raised brow and said, "What's going on is that I have no idea how you are actually keeping that bike upright with the snail speed in which you are riding!!" I was enjoying myself so much that I hadn't noticed that he had been so far ahead. We got back on the bikes and rode to another bridge where I had to turn right. I don't know how it happened, but I got wobbly and turned right...right into a group of runners who had to scram out of my way before I fell over. There were a lot of "What the hells?!" and "Learn how to ride a bike, lady!" ringing in my embarrassed ears. Dan was so mad at me. I am laughing all over again as I write this just thinking about how utterly disgusted he was at my performance. We laughed about it after, but my riding days were over and about 2 years later, his riding days were over too, all of his days were over.
So, the combined $3000 worth of bike shit went unused and untouched. Fast forward to Nick and children and fearing the day my kids would want to ride bikes! They weren't all that interested until the neighborhood bestie crew were zipping around and leaving my kids in the dust. They learned very quickly, and I learned again, that I would do just about anything to spend quality time together as a family. I hopped back on a bike for the first time in 20 some years this past October. Nick, Lawson, Levi, and I rode 6 miles and I only had a bit of "trouble" once. I looked over at Nick at one point during our first ride on that green 20 year old, barely used bike, and for a brief second Nick's face was the one I saw at Dick's trying the gears and checking the chains, not Dan. It was such a shock to have a memory that has been with me so long, overlap with the love I have now. I never thought things would blur, begin to evaporate, even shape-shift into something else, but it does, and that's ok. I can smile about the bikes, I love that Nick and I now ride them, I love the life Nick and I have created and I am so excited for future family rides on those damn bikes! Who would have thought!?!
As the days, months, and years continue to pass, old memories fade to black as new ones glow golden in the light. Rocky roads get paved as new trails are blazed. So, kick up the stand, hang on to those handles and enjoy the ride if you're going 5 or 50. Life has a way of compassing you in the direction of your next happy memory...if you let it.
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