In Awe

Every time I post I am in amazement at the feedback I receive. Every time I smile, I am amazed at the smiles that are returned to me. Every time I reach for a hand, I am astonished at the number of extended arms. Every time I need, the offer for assistance is profound. Every time I crash I am bewildered at how fast the fire is put out, before I burn completely.

Every time the sun rises in the morning I am overwhelmed, grateful, indebted to the people in my life who love me.

When God created friendship, he created it in the mirror of love. Friendship is loyalty, respect, honesty, and above all, love. I believe that God knew my path would fork, he saw that the road itself would fall from beneath me, and then come crashing down around me once I hit the bottom. For reasons I won't understand, he chose not to change that path. But what he did do, was put the most beautiful people on the paths parallel to mine.

Of course, there are always those rogue joggers who cross onto our paths and leave trails of hate-dust behind, but that is because they don't have that love, those beautiful people who get pleasure from lifting and carrying you when you are tired, not stepping on you when you are down. Anger and Guilt: An acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored, than to anything on which it is poured. ~Seneca Quotes, (Roman Philosopher mid-1st century AD)

I wanted to write tonight about the swelling of my heart, the blanket of love I feel that covers me everyday from those around me. I can't seem to find the exact words that express how thankful, how obliged I am to my friends, my family, blood or not.

It would take days and endless pages to write about every kindness that has been bestowed upon me, one day I should try, it would be a glorious story, telling of every special person in my life who have earned countless jewels in their crown. Tonight, I am just going to mention a few things in last week that have helped to mend an infringed heart.

Note passing and school girl giggling with Jill and Michelle at a meeting. A "Happy New Day" note and delicious danish (from Michelle) on my desk after a hard previous day. An email from my soul mate friend, Jessi, her words working to make the world make sense again. Text messages from Sputty that make me snort-laugh. Instant messaging on Yahoo with Kirty will always bring a smile to my face. An note from someone who probably has no idea how much her sweet words impacted me that day, thank you Christa. Dinner with my parents, Jaime, Ryan, and my perfect Lilly-Bug. Sharing tears and hugs at that dinner with the family that wild horses couldn't tear apart. The unconditional love of my sister, and the unparalleled love I have for her. Listening to anything that comes out of Ryan's mouth, an all-time favorite simple pleasure of mine. A weekend day and night spent on a Harley, drinking Bud Lights, dancing and laughing, with some of the funniest most genuine, down to Earth people you will ever come across. People who take you for who you are, and just let the world turn as it may. A hilariously vulgar message from Hillary, I couldn't love you more, my sweet. A Monday lunch with Allyson, seeing how beautiful pregnancy is on her, and wrapping my arms tightly around the bond we have formed over the years. A compliment from my boss, so sweet, that it almost took my breath away. A care package from a friend in the mail, some light reading for those sleepless nights, thank you Molly. The immeasurable support I receive via Facebook and this blog. The list is endless, and because of this, my heart is brimming.

To say "thank you" or "I love you all" just seems so scanty and insufficient. But know this; your love will never be taken for granted. My loyalty will never waiver, and with every breath that is left in my soul, I will repay your kindness.

I do not know what I did to deserve love/friendships like this, but you should, you need, to know how humbled I am because of them.